desolate-wonder

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Concrete Woes by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Concrete Woes

How cold it is. The ground. But you never know how, 'till you've fallen as I have. Hard. Enough that I can't get up and dust myself off as I'd like. So I just lay. And squirm. there must be a rock... I look up into the face of my Angel. Knowing she can't save me if she's not wont to. So I lay at her mercy. At her feet, and one raises to meet my chest, over my heart to press gently, though I must confess, it's less gentle than she thinks. As the cold now seeps right through my shirt and chills of yearning break, the rock I pondered was there before, makes me want to shout, "No more!". But with what little courage

By An Angel's Name by desolate-wonder, literature

The Fallen Hero by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

The Fallen Hero

I respect less the fallen hero. Whose armor is no longer a perfectly pristine white. Whose horse's knees have buckled; not kneeling with nobility, but with an arthritis afflicting such things. So the horse no longer stands and it brings the hero down to eye level. Where he is more easily scrutinized and seen as what he has become. And where I have learned to respect less the former hero. I respect less this fallen hero. I I remember, in new youth, looking up at him in awe and wanting to spend all the time I could with him. I remember his strength. When he picked me up and held me high, I remember feeling safe. I r

Twisted Attraction by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Twisted Attraction

I am not the one you seek, the one you know. I am the mistake. The chameleon that blends into your familiar surroundings. but you see me You say you want me, you need me. I know you don't. I could give you fair warning. But you'd never listen. You are blind. Eyes clouded by desire. So into the black waters you run. Uncaring of the predator within. Maybe I'll bite ...maybe I won't. Maybe you need it: the pain I cause you. Your escape from reality. Or possibly a reminder of it. But you should

Parasite by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Parasite

It stays inside, buried alive inside the soul. A parasite born of the lies you told to preserve the old so no truth unfolds to cover the hole the dignity sold left in you, left you blue: a cold frostbitten hue. Hidden from view, but with a tell-tale madness that calls to you, draws you in. And you'll fall in. Down into the dwelling of your manifest, you'll hit rock bottom and, for what will seem like hours, search for the exit you know is "...around here somewhere." But without the acknowledgement of your disgusting truth, you're left with zero visibility. And the parasite bite like barbs always adds that extra, painful distrac

Ghost by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Ghost

I am owner of a dead heart. Cut it out, I'll still walk. I haunt you. You bleed me and I love it. And secretly? So do you. I give you purpose. That I "chose" you gives you self worth. With me you can feel. No more walking numb. When you're cold, I am near. When you hate, I am inside. When you hurt, I am above; playing you like the pawn you are. I am the ghost in your ear whispering those self deprecating thoughts. I am the reflection in the mirror you hate so much. I am the shadow attatched to your feet you wish would go away but know will never. The sharp silhouette that stalks you forever: No blurred lines 'cause you k

Glass Dreams by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Glass Dreams

How the world is turned Is love this force? By which is meaningful divorce From life itself. By which we are. By which we're dead trudging through our empty heads. Leaving control to our hearts. That when we speak, will we be true? When I speak am I like you? Am I of muddled thought and confused heart? In aimless bound seek out? In lustful longing reach out? To someone blindly and caress this someone kindly, fettered hopes behind me, festinate attempts to bind thee to these moments in time; see... I can't be...without we. Alone I suffer. Love it is not or love it may be, I know that I hold no key to my own happine

The Grotesque by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

The Grotesque

Leave a hole for the light to shine through. A golden halo that surrounds you. A call from heaven that beckons me, come, but for now I'll stay in the shadows, take comfort in my grief and sorrows and hide away the obscene actions I engage in: With memorized precision, I trace with gentle fingertips, the uneven flesh of scar tissue. Lovingly caress the burn marks of past stark issues. Scratch to mar the skin still smooth. Inhale with vigor the smell of rotting corpses at my feet; the bodies of those who have either tried to tame me or tried to take me lay in defeat. Wet my soles in the shallow blood pools; spilled by my hands, wrun

Breaking Barriers by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Breaking Barriers

I can't say what I mean and I cannot mean what I say. I am a liar of sorts and that's the way it is. Promises are broken and love decays. And anything I might ever know crumbles in your arms. Turns to ash and blackens the sky for brief... moments... as the wind... sweeps the remains away. And I am left a broken mass of cells, vulnerable to your piercing gaze. Every question answered by my own respondant stare

Deep Down:extension by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Deep Down:extension

Deep down Afraid (Inside.) Of hearing (Truths satanic) Of seeing (that which spurrs the world to panic.) Of feeling (Manic when everything is stripped away.) Deep down Afraid(Then hide.) Of knowing (What's beneath the skin) Of learning (when the end begins?) Of thinking (You soon will pay for every sin.) Deep down Afraid(Rest your tired eyes.) Of living (In a shallow,) Of being (so hollow,) Of myself (that in sorrow do you wallow.) So Afraid(Inside) Deep down(you hide.)

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War Inside by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

War Inside

Turn a sympathetic ear to me So hear That I may call Upon a bitterness so sweet, so dear So near That I may call Upon it to resent myself So fear That I may call Upon my hatred, blackened soul So call That I may fall. Upon my knees and pray for life So burn That I may need A humble heart to set me free So learn That I may need Restraints to keep my mind intact So yearn That I may need To lay my eyes upon your face So need That I may heed. Orders followed and lessons learned So know That I may change For the better I hopelessly vie So show That I may change By supporting me and loving me So go That I may c

Everything by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Everything

We that walk this filthy plane, This place of higher living We step foot proud and seemingly happy, Never aware of severity Of the fact that we mortals, Willingly do the Devil's bidding. We fight, we steal, we hurt, we kill Bathing the Earth in a vermillion shield: Every drop of blood we spill, Every tide that rolls the hill, Every vile of bile we fill, Every crip that comes from will, Every dose of addict's pill, Every moron perched on 'sill, Every pain of time until, Eternity is finally over.

Loveless Heart by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Loveless Heart

Could I be helped if I were to beg? Were to beg and plead and cry and scream And carry on as if I wasn't me? Could I be helped if I wasn't me? Would anyone save me from myself? Save me from insecurities that have become a part of me? Save me from my darkest fears upon me fell, That leave me in shadows, Leave me hollow, Leave me there to dwell. Be my light, Forsaken, Angel; Brave the blackest corners of my mind, Save the body chained to a skeleton wall. Cowering at the sight of freedom. Shying at the slight unfamiliarity. Save me-Free me-from myself. Be open so I may be myself. Unrestricted: Then a cleaner heart. Softer, g

Stand Through Hate by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Stand Through Hate

Love. A simple 4-letter word And an immesurable feeling And one that many is denied And hated for And they are persecuted, Because they love differently. And beaten, Because they love differently. And killed, Because they love differently. But they still stand. And I speak out, As we are akin, So I will stand. And we still stand. We'll keep our pride, Our heads held high, We still stand. We will not be silenced, We will not dissapear, We still stand. We will live our lives, And though we may cry, We still stand. We are not a sickness. We are not a disease. We love who we love And we can not change. No more than th

4Seasons by desolate-wonder, literature

You've Gone by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

You've Gone

I've grown so dark, So dark and so cold. Since you've gone, It's left me so cold. Feeling so alone. Abandoned by the world as it turns Just as sure as every sunset My eyes grow dark in the shadow of my heart Glossy with unshed tears, Reflecting my solid truth: I've grown so dark, So dark and so cold. Since you've gone, It's left me so cold. I can't walk through life with head held high, And be bold enough to show my true face, And stay my hand to let you sleep. You've left me low and not so dry With tears that threaten to spill I look up, struggling to focus on the heavens And will myself to still Aware that I have once l

For You by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

For You

If I bled for you, Could you feel my capture? If I cried for you, Could you taste my sorrow? If I died for you, Could you continue well to live? 'Cause I know if you did, I'd have nothing left to give. If at then I loathe life, Would you weep for me? If at then I cried for help, Would you answer me? If at then I lost myself, Would you come for me? If at then I couldn't go on, Would you save a space for me? Know that everything I did, I did for you. I did for you, Because of my neverending love for you. And because of you, the things you do, I will always surrender to you. Hell if habit should ever break, But even then

Living Conditions by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Living Conditions

Is this the world? Is this all we're worth? Have we doomed our planet to a life so dim So dim, so dank, with air so thick So thick we gag and fall on knees so hard So hard, so paining, the life of poverty can only look on in awe so piercing So piercing, so deep, with wounds unfading, so close, so dear So close, so dear, so racked with fear So damned that no one ventures near So sharp, so here, so sheer, so real, it tears up eyes So obscure in leer So empty, so cold, forever alone So sad, so old, forever uprolled So dead, yet so bold, forever behold Forever remembered Forever in gold Encased in silver Forever they know.

Alone by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Alone

It seems people in love Have an easier relationship With their soul. Have an easier time in life. Could this be why I find life So miserable? Is this why I hate my soul? That I have no one to share with, That I have no one to care for, No one to hold, No one whose hand to hold. No one to walk with, And talk about the mundane day. No one to lie with at night, To keep warm from the cold. No one to wake up next to In the dawn, And fawn over, That I could be this lucky. No one to celebrate with When times are good, No one to comfort When they are bad. No one to trust; The fears that hold me up: No one to grind my bones t

Is Ignorance Bliss? by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Is Ignorance Bliss?

Take my eyes, My nose, My tongue, My ears. Numb my nerves So I can't feel. Numb unto me As numb is She. Numb my heart So I can't see. See you as a blinding sun. See you as a templed gun. See you as you are the one To fill me with benevolence And free me of my Malice, Malice, empty chalice My Betrothed of Shadow Palace Caught between each world unbalanced. In the hearts and hopes of some In other's hearts, their fears make numb, So they can't see. See us as we really are; Simply humans with good hearts. See us as not society's scars; Villains corrupting children near and far. No more villainous than those of clouded

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rekindled obsession by fishstyx, literature

Literature

rekindled obsession

I'd thought it long dead this passion of my soul now it's come back to grasp and devour me whole The echoes of memory that I'd lived long before and buried in dust are back at my door They scream at me, pleading to remember again to rekindle the fire and once more descend into the searing inferno of consuming obsession that brought forth self hatred and senseless aggression my eyes once more open to truth born of madness and I nearly shatter because of the harshness love, hate, obsession, deep madness and passion rebirth comes once more from the ash of destruction

Deviation Spotlight

Concrete Woes by desolate-wonder, literature

Literature

Concrete Woes

desolate-wonder

About desolate-wonder

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Artist

United States
Deviant for 18 years
He / Him

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My Bio

Current Residence: St. Louis, MO
Favourite genre of music: metal, hard rock
Favourite style of art: Whatever looks good
Favourite cartoon character: Stewie Griffin
Personal Quote: Doesn't the birds and the birds and the bees and the bees sound much more natural?

Favourite Visual Artist

Escher

Favourite Movies

Lost and Delirious, D.E.B.S., Rent

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Evans Blue, 36 Crazyfists, Trivium, Mudvayne, Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle

Favourite Writers

TS Eliot, E.A. Poe, R. Frost, S. King

Favourite Games

Tie: Ratchet and Clank series and GTA series

Favourite Gaming Platform

PS3

Tools of the Trade

mind, life and heart

Posts

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desolate-wonder

Jul 29, 2009

(Not) Wedding bells

0 min read

Ok...so blah blah blah, I'm not dead, yadda yadda yadda. I can't really say what has kept me away for so long. Mostly because I don't know. I haven't been utterly busy, but shit happens. I will say that I intend to try to get back into the full swing of things here. Though I haven't been writing much lately, I'll try to get around. So new(old) news: It's been awhile...and still I've not much to report. Well nothing interesting.(how lame am I?) I've had a niece born and turn 2 since I've been active here. That's how long it's been. I went to my first wedding(my aunt's), went to my first funeral(my grandma's), been fired over total bullshit, g

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desolate-wonder

Jun 18, 2007

Absence...

0 min read

Makes the heart grow fonder they say. I hope so. I hope I've been missed here. Hope a special someone's missing me, but doubting it. You see, since I've last been truly active, I got me a new gf. And it was great in the beginning, but it started to crumble as all things too good to be true do. So she's gone now, moved away. And I've been a little emotionally vacant lately. There's unfinished business. Issues. I miss her like mad, but she's not mine and I don't think she ever really was. She didn't even call to say goodbye. And didn't even tell me until the week of. So why'd I put up with it so long? Love? Maybe. I just wish I'd left her the

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desolate-wonder

Oct 28, 2006

Wow...we won.

0 min read

I don't really give a shit about baseball. As far as I'm concerned, it's a waste of a sport. But for the fact that our other teams generally suck and won't get anything accomplished, I'm stoked! World Series baby! On a completely unrelated note, since I've last checked in, I've gotten a new niece who's just over two months old now. Cute and funny! She has the strangest facial expressions...

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Profile Comments 39

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Salem-rae

Nov 24, 2007

\^,^/HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK!!\^,^/
Send this to at least 15 people you think are pretty sweet, including me if you care for me!

And if you get at least 10 back, you will receive good news within 15 minutes!
~Let's see how many hearts you get! =]
All the best. Please continue sending you're own love to those you care for.

........¶¶¶¶¶¶...... ......¶¶¶¶¶¶
....¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶....¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
..¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶.. ......¶¶¶¶
¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶.. ......¶¶¶¶
¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶. ...¶¶¶¶¶
¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ..¶¶¶¶¶..
....¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶
..........¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶
..............¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
..................¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶
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FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will send it back to you.

I'm waiting...
It's friendship week.

If you receive (at least) 10 back, you truly are a lovable person

bleeding-lily

May 11, 2007

wow... you live like really cloes by...
huh that just seems soOO weird to me, that there are deviants under an hour away!!
but yeah... sorry for the random spas... erm...
HEY THERE!! -goes to look through your gallery...-

desolate-wonder

Jun 18, 2007

Don't worry about spazzing. I'm just a big goofball myself. So close huh? Where are you, if you don't mind telling.

And I hope you enjoyed reading.

bleeding-lily

Jun 19, 2007

keh... close by about an hour, but i go to StL a LOT! and i'm in S.IL in a small town called Sparta

i liked what i did read, but honestly i barely went through it :/

desolate-wonder

Jun 26, 2007

Yeah, I know Sparta. I'm in south city, close to south county. Really. I could walk into the county.
And if you liked whatever you did read I'm satisfied.

thanks for the fav

HI, JUST LOOKING AROUND